Although no one plans to be stranded on a desert island, it’s important to remember that the minuscule possibility is one-hundred percent still there. Next time you’re packing for a Caribbean cruise or maybe a nice flight overseas, put aside an emergency kit of these next 5 things to bring along. So if and when your plane comes plummeting down, you’ll be ready.
- A pack of brown paper bags
This simple pack of brown paper bags can be used for a variety of different purposes. Foremost, it can be used to store items you find while scouring the island. (Perhaps use it to store that shell collection you’ve wanted to start but held off ‘til now.)
When you’re not busy foraging, use these bags to control your breathing as you hyperventilate at the thought that you may die here.
Lastly, living in isolation can get lonely. To fill the void, turn that bag upside down to have your own puppet friend (or friends depending on how many bags you would like to devote to your puppet squad.)
2. Nokia Cell Phone
Although it might not seem like it, including a Nokia cell phone in your emergency kit is essential. A Nokia phone battery life can last anywhere from 3 to 30 days which could be enough time for you to find a signal to make a call.
Let’s say you can’t find good reception. Don’t fret. With the rest of the battery life, you can pass crucial time by playing the ever-fun game of Snake!
Once the Nokia is officially dead, it can be used for self-defense. Simply throw this bad boy at the head of any nearby predator to knock them out stone-cold. (Woo! Skin that animal and now you have dinner.)
3. Not Socks
Of course, it won’t be the end of the world if you accidentally bring a pair of socks on the desert island with you…BUT, you will save yourself a lot of trouble by not bringing socks.
Think about it. The island is most likely going to be similar to a beach and nobody wears socks to the beach. There’s a good reason for that too. Beaches have sand and people do not want sandy socks. You would never be able to get the sand out. So where else would you wear them? Certainly not in the ocean water, because now you have soggy socks. So avoid this catastrophe and do not bring them with you. You’ll have a much easier time without them.
4. A picture of Tom Hanks
Like needing fresh water or food, this one is a no-brainer. As you venture onto the island, don’t stop with the mere picture of Tom Hanks. It’s imperative you make an entire shrine dedicated to him. Use twigs, leaves, shells — anything really. It doesn’t matter. Just be creative. You will need this shrine for your daily five-hour worship prayer to Tom Hanks. If you are worthy, the godly powers of Tom Hanks will answer your prayers and get you off the island as he miraculously did in the classic 2000 film, Cast Away.
5. An upbeat personality
This last thing is not something you can pack in a bag, but rather something you can pack in your heart. By bringing an upbeat personality, you can truly make the most of this terrifying situation. Don’t let negativity get to you. It’s easy to dwell on the inevitability of death or the immense loneliness you may feel on the island. But you can be better than that. Embrace this experience with an open mind and a smile. When it comes down to it, the majority of people suck anyway. Perhaps this island getaway is exactly what you needed. So make a sandcastle, layout by the sun, but mostly importantly, stay awhile, because you don’t have a choice.
-Mary Lavelle, Staff Member