1. Uhm… We’ve got a Skyline. You could go there for dinner or for lunch. I’d recommend you go there for breakfast too, but they don’t serve Skyline that early in the morning. It’s a downright shame. I’m pretty sure I would go to Skyline for all three meals if it was possible. I don’t know what else you want me to say. It’s a restaurant. You know how restaurants work.
  2. There’s also a small branch of the Cincinnati Library. It’s barely a one-story building on the corner of what I guess you could consider the two busiest streets in town. I would say you could spend hours browsing this library, but I’m pretty sure that I’ve read every book in there twice. Have I mentioned how small it is?
  3. You could visit one of the two gun shops in town. The most recent one used to be a charity coffee shop that helped get down-and-out people back on their feet. But this is small town Ohio so out with the progress and in with the guns.
  4. Let’s see. We have a park. It’s always flooded this time of year because it’s below the water table, but if you brought your galoshes then you can go for a walk. It’s much like the library- too small to truly realize its potential. There’s a bike path, but the attempt at pavement has been pulverized into gravel by fake hoodlums with BB guns.
  5. Speaking of fake hoodlums, there’s a skate park at the “center” of town that falls into the same trap as the library and the park. There’s maybe a ramp and two flat rails. I mean there isn’t even like a half pipe, or a quarter ramp, or an eight scoot, or something like that. All of the fake hoodlums hang out there when they’re not ruining the park or eating Skyline.
  6. We have the tomb of barely-president William Henry Harrison. If that’s not a metaphor, I don’t know what is.
  7. And that’s it. Honestly, I’m surprised I got this far.

–Hannah Wagner, Staff Member