HALLOWEENTOWN –– Spooky scary (and anti-gay) skeletons have been dragged out of the closet in the wake of the latest controversy to hit Halloweentown when a local mirror was accused of homophobia following an incident with the town’s resident gay vampire, Vladimir (268M).
Sources report that Vlad was shopping at the local mall store “Spencer’s” when what has been described as “an act of senseless bigotry” occurred. “I was looking for a Halloween costume of that Fortnite skeleton skin and I was feeling great about it. It looked like it would really compliment my fangs.” said Vlad, “Then, when I went to try it on, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The mirror in the changing room just flat out refused to show me.”
The ACLU was first to denounce this act, holding an impromptu press conference in between sets of a nearby Halsey concert. “The blatant homophobia that Vlad endured is appalling.” an ACLU spokeswoman said to the ringing applause of gay vampires and Halsey fans alike. “I truly admire him for standing up for equal rights as a gay mythical being.”. After the concert was over, concertgoers and other gay vampires in the greater Halloweentown area swarmed the streets in protest, brandishing LGBTQ flags and glow in the dark vampire fangs in solidarity with Vlad.
However, some aren’t as convinced that the incident had to do with Vlad’s sexuality. The National Association for the Advancement of Vampires (NAAVP) was quick to question the true intentions of the mirror, wondering if it truly meant any harm by not showing Vlad. However, this notion was quickly shot down by social justice groups and major news networks, and resulted in the NAAVP being ridiculed for their “bigoted anti-LGBTQ stance” and “Not looking out for their own kind.”
Spencer’s declined to comment on the issue, only repeating that their employees “will be undergoing diversity and inclusion training, just like Starbucks.” The mirror and its lawyers declined to comment as well, as the investigation is still ongoing.