by Daryl Rockefeller
It all started today when I was about to go to work and was trying to figure out where to leave my step-kid Derek while I slave away at the Chase Bank on High Street. To my surprise, Derek actually had a destination in mind for where he wanted to go: “Darry, I want to go to Raising Cane’s!”
While I never heard of such a daycare, nobody else suggested any other ideas, so that was where we went. I figured by the name that it was where Stacy used to drop him off all the time, but when we went in, it almost seemed as if the building wasn’t meant to house children for extended periods of time. There weren’t any toys that I saw, just a bunch of signs that said “One Love” and a pointless disco ball. Much to my surprise, they charged no fees when I dropped him off. All they said was “Hey, don’t you want your kid?” when I left him there for the day.
When I got back at the end of the day, I saw Derek covered in crumbs and a mysterious sauce that I think included some of his blood. The first thing he said was, “Where the flying fuck have you been?” He tried to say I abandoned him, but that only reveals the true negligence the workers show to their children. They tried to give me excuses, saying that they were “a fast food restaurant” and they “don’t get paid enough for that,” but I was too appalled by their callous treatment of my step-son.
All in all, I would not recommend you send your children to Raising Cane’s for daycare. The fact that it even has remained in business for as long as they have is proof that the average parent is frighteningly lazy and conducts no research on where their child stays. I will be contacting CPS about them soon. We can all do better than this.
Written by Zach Levy, Staff Writer & Ryan Wires, Vice President