Help! Anyone! My almonds are wrong.
Listen now as I sing you my song.

Almonds in the oven, I placed on a tray.
I opened the door and was full of dismay!

My almonds, it seemed, had some kind of hair.
I wished they had remained totally bare.

Silky, speckled, and slick looked the fuzz.
I wondered and wondered what it was.

Where did it come from? Did it come from my ass?
Suddenly, the almonds formed one giant mass!

“What’s going on!?” I cried, hands full of shell.
They said, “It’s time now to take you to Hell.”


Written by Sarah Palazzo, Co-President