COLUMBUS𑁋Citing a conversation from a recent house party, sources confirmed the shocking news that Jesse Anderson, a young man, has never been inside of a YMCA. “At first we were having fun just dancing at the party, but when the Village People song came on, Jesse just casually mentioned he’s never actually gone to the YMCA,” says 21-year-old Lauren Kulp, a confused and concerned friend of Anderson. “I don’t know why he’s never given it a chance, especially since they say it’s so fun to stay there.” Kulp, aware that Anderson has lately been feeling down, reportedly told him to give the YMCA a try, believing it to have everything for men to enjoy. Kulp also expressed worry for her friend’s diet and drinking habits but is confident that the YMCA would allow him to have a good meal while he gets himself clean. At press time, Kulp was busy planting YMCA brochures in various locations around Anderson’s apartment, hoping he browses through them and finally decides to go to the place where he can hang out with all the boys.
Written by Sarah Palazzo, Co-President