2020/03/19, Nashville TN

Luke Warm, the country music sensation of 2019 successfully treated COVID-19 by drinking moonshine in the field from dusk till dawn. Meanwhile the local Walmart struggled with ‘60% alcohol-based’ hand sanitizer supplies. His impressive feat knocked the epidemiology experts’ socks off as he gave the term ‘internal medicine’ an entirely new meaning.

According to public health records, the singer started displaying symptoms similar to the novel coronavirus disease on March 15th, 2020 and was tested positive on the same day. Jenny (name changed upon request), a nurse responsible for handling several coronavirus cases in Nashville commented, “What we are witnessing is nothing short of a miracle! Not only did Luke recover from the disease, he did it in an unbelievable 4 days after diagnosis!” A few minutes later, we overheard her having this phone conversation with her husband, “I know I’ve been paranoid about your drinking habits since the last 10 years, but can we start hoarding some sweet moonshine instead?”

The Sundial interviewed Luke amid the hysteria surrounding the spread of coronavirus and his unbelievable recovery. He said, “With some freshly brewed moonshine, I was able to target the virus where it hit ’em the hardest. Y’all New Yorkers need to calm down and try some homegrown magic instead of those alcohol-based hand sanitizers”. He also touched upon the benefits of Tennessee whiskey for the patients for whom moonshine is not easily attainable. 

The singer had no travel history outside the country, but was frequently seen hitting the local fishing hole, where he reportedly caught the disease instead of another catfish. He claimed to build his natural immunity by catching catfish and eating it daily. 

To prevent the community spread of the virus, he has been spraying moonshine inside his car and truck at least three times a day, which has caused him to be pulled over by the cops numerous times since the outbreak.

While talking to The Sundial, at one point, he just smiled calmly and looked towards the sky feeling inspired as he had just validated Hank Jr’s claim “country boys can survive”.

Written by Yuvraj Singh, Staff Writer