Well, you’re in college now, and that means you can no longer scratch your name on your older brother’s card to his half-ass gift to your mother. She’s paying for your college tuition, and now she expects something nice and thoughtful for Christmas this year.
Problem is, it’s December 24th, and Walmart closes in three hours, so you only have a minute to think about the best gifts you can possibly give from the woman who’s supported you for so long.
Necklace
Um, idk, I guess she would want a necklace. She has a couple, so what’s a third
Book
Get her a spicy romance novel to remind her to divorce your father.
Gift Card
She seems to go to Giant Eagle a lot, that might work
Vibrator
You’re an adult now, and she is too, so there’s nothing weird about acknowledging her adult needs.
Flowers
Goes well with the vibrator.
Written by Joshua Ostroff, Staff Writer & Henry Levenberg, Editor-in-Chief