George Washington –
Many Ohio State students are surprised to learn that George Washington is an alumnus. He often claimed that his years as a Buckeye inspired him to revolt against the British and form a new country, and that he never would have developed such an ‘independent spirit’ if he hadn’t attended Ohio State.
Fun Fact: Washington’s last official act as President of the United States was establishing the Sundial Humor Magazine.
Genghis Khan –
Everyone knows about Jeffrey Dahmer, but Ohio State alumnus Genghis Khan was much more successful overall at being an enemy of the people. When Marco Polo met Genghis’ grandson Kublai Khan in 1272, Kublai was reportedly wearing his grandfather’s old Delta Theta Sigma sweatshirt.
Fun Fact: Before going on to create the largest land empire in history, Genghis Khan was the first Ohioan to successfully conquer Michigan.
J. K. Rowling –
J. K. Rowling, author of the beloved Harry Potter series, proudly credits her membership in Ohio State’s chapter of TPUSA as the inspiration for her trans ideology. She’s also claimed on a number of occasions that most of the wacky shit that went down in Hogwarts actually happened during her time at Ohio State.
Fun Fact: In an early draft of the first Harry Potter novel, Harry and Voldemort were fraternity brothers who vandalized cars together at Chitt Fest.
Rosa Parks –
Rosa Parks left an unforgettable mark on history after refusing to give up her seat for William Oxley Thompson on the COTA. For this offense she was kicked out of her sorority and placed on academic probation, but graduated with honors just two years later.
Fun Fact: She is one of a small number of influential civil rights activists not to have been assassinated by the CIA.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz –
The notorious Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s villain origin story began when he learned that he wouldn’t be receiving an iPad through Digital Flagship. Instead, during his first semester he was forced to take notes on a Samsung Galaxy.
Fun Fact: He’s the only supervillain ever to have gotten blackout drunk at Midway.
Marie Antoinette –
Famously, French Queen Marie Antoinette only ate cookies and ice cream whenever she dined at Scott’s or KComm. While at Ohio State she majored in Fashion and Retail studies, as she reportedly had a good head for style.
Fun Fact: Before arriving at the guillotine, she specially requested the Buckeye Battle Cry be played during her execution.
Written by Wally Green