Last week it was revealed that President Ted Carter received a $38,500 raise and a $164,368 bonus. This was met with a lot of outrage, but I think we should all be very happy for him! He has had such a positive impact on campus with his policies that have… helped students? Honestly I’m not sure what he’s done to benefit anybody besides the Board of Trustees, but he looks like a muppet and The Muppets are a national treasure so he has to be doing some good for the university!
Some students had problems with the raise, but I think their complaints are senseless! Sure, food prices have drastically increased on campus, housing hasbecome more scarce and expensive, and a lot of dorms are outdated and horrible to live in. BUT none of those things really matter because we all get to be Buckeyes and our lovely president gets to make more money in one year than some of us will see in our entire lives!
As for staff complaints, I think it’s rather unreasonable for them to want a liveable wage. OSU makes sure to pay their staff as little as possible so they will feel inspired to get a second job or work enough overtime that they hardly get to see their loved ones! Working nonstop is healthy, as it builds grit and diminishes feelings of pride; with such an unmanageable workload, OSU’s staff – you know those who keep everything running on campus – will never develop an inflated ego! People with inflated egos are just terrible to be around so the excess of work and lack of fair pay are actually benefiting everyone! Thanks Ted!
Also, I think we need to consider that maybe Ted Carter really needs the money! $1.1 million is a very slim salary, so it would be selfish of us to want to redirect that money to things that would benefit the students and staff of OSU. We would be forcing him to live off of pocket change! Talk about cruelty! What if he wants to buy a beach house, or spend a month at a ski resort, or just hoard as much money as possible? We can’t stifle his dreams! That’s just plain mean!
We students should feel giddy when we pay our tuition because our money is going into the pockets of such a wonderful man! I know I do! Whether I’m looking at my FAFSA and watching my debt go up or when I feel physically sick as I shell out thousands of dollars every semester, I must remember to celebrate the fact that I am paying for Ted Carter to live a life of luxury! I’m sure all of us will remember fondly how good a president Ted Carter was and how much he deserved this raise while we pay off our student loans well into our 50s. I know I will! Love you Ted!
Written by A Proud Buckeye