ARMONK, NY – Quickly becoming the world’s most advanced cognitive computing system, IBM’s Watson is reportedly a really smart monkey in a cardboard box. “We just found him in the jungle and brought him back here to headquarters in Armonk” said IBM’s Principal Investigator, David Ferrucci, as he casually leaned against the primate’s old TV box. When asked why employees of the company were in ‘the jungle’, Ferrucci retorted, “Why aren’t you in the jungle?” Good point. “It’s really simple: bananas go in the box, cancer treatment recommendations come out of the box. Us geniuses at IBM really hit it out of the park with this one,” said Senior Vice President, Michael Rhodin. Local New York skeptic doubts Watson’s abilities, saying, “What’s next, a monkey doin’ my taxes?” To which IBM replied, “yes.”