(Reporter gets called on): Yeah, Keith Ruster, Rolling Stone. Your album is blowing up, gaining a lot of popularity, and acclaim. How do you feel about that?
Frontman: Look man, we didn’t write this album for rolling stone. I think I speak for the group when I say that we are all pretty sure about you guys being homophobes. We don’t care about people being homosexual, man. This album is about how I feel… You know… like when I’m in the grocery store. Or like when I’m driving somewhere. You know, it’s just like about a family being fucked up. Like a dad’s arm getting caught in a wood chipper, and blood hits your forehead… and like how you feel about his alcoholism. If, like people relate to that, that’s cool, you know? … It’s like when I was a little kid, and you know, I’d like have to make up games or something. And like my attractor in all the games was like this black woman… And she’d say things like, “It’s all okay now, baby. Just don’t worry any more.” You know, just like comforting stuff like that. Or like maybe like we were in love, or something…
Popularity, man. Like it’s just like a really perverting thing. Like getting money makes you cheat on your wife, and maybe like kick your dog… Which is really fucked up. Like, you know, ‘cause dogs are like really pure. Fuck popularity. If people like our music, just like it in private. Stop buying our albums, because you make me feel sick. I feel like the sickness. My stomach hurts… (Coughs up blood). You see man, it’s just like really fucked up. And like Vietnam happened, or something. I think a lot about people being burned alive. I’ll spend hours just looking at people burned alive, or like thinking about being burned alive. Like feeling that, or something. Really feeling my skin like, melt off. I don’t know. I just feel like people don’t feel that, and it pisses me off. Like they are just like homophobes because they want to fuck people that are the same sex. And they like beat their children, and shit. Like every politician is just waiting to stick their dick in a fucking tail pipe, but like don’t let homosexuals get married. You know, like fuck them. Fuck all these perverts that, you know, like screw up kids. I don’t know man, it just like bothers me, or something.
Einstein like thought of this like theory about, you know, like relativity, and I just think about that. You know. Like how love works in outer space and shit. Like why do we like make choices and shit. And you know people go to church, but like no one really believes in god, or they’d just kill themselves. We need to let children imagine more, and shit. Play outside, and shit.
I just decided that our album is no longer for sale. I don’t really know if that answers your question, but I don’t really care, you know? Like be an archeologist, and just search through my bones for answers or something, you know?
–Ben Zambito, Staff-Writer