Anyone that has ever gone to college can probably remember how they felt after doing their first “icebreaker”. I don’t just remember how I felt; I remember when I felt it and what was going on. Now you get to hear (err, read) about it!
After we sat down everyone just kind of looked at each other. Really, it was so damn quiet I could hear myself breathing through my nose. I was kind of hoping that someone would do something, anything; maybe even fart just to break the tension. I mean really, “icebreakers” are just jumpy and tense. A new group of people who don’t know each other sit around in a circle and pretend that they’re going to remember one another’s favorite food. As we sat outside, I looked at the sky and started to daydream as the people I would be living with for the next year stared at their cell phones. It was a beautiful day out and they were all staring at their mini-computers. I already knew this would be boring.
“Okay guys, so the reason we’re sitting in this circle is so that we can go around and introduce ourselves. I know all of you know who I am, but I’ll give an example of a good introduction so you guys know where to start! Okay?”
My RA said this like we were all excited to learn our neighbor’s names. I know it’s part of her job to build and support a community on our floor; but the fact that the guy who lives across the hall from me is going to a Ke$ha concert won’t help me remember his name. In fact, I loathe Ke$ha. So I’ll remember him as the guy who likes Ke$ha enough to go one of her concerts. Ke$ha is an insult to music.
“Hi guys! My name is Alex Stutton and I’m currently a Sociology major! I enjoy running, painting, doggies, kitties, jumping in piles of leaves, making new friends, going to parties without drinking, bright colors, unicycles, unicorns, bubbles, flowers, babies, and the great lord Cthulhu! Some of my favorite foods would have to be Hawaiian pizza, spaghetti, and cupcakes! A fun fact about me is that I went to the same high school as The Black Keys, and my boyfriend is 9 years older than me!” She said this all with a smile and a sunny disposition. I don’t know exactly why, but as she talked had this feeling that I should not spend much time with her; I felt more like I should be afraid of her.
Every kind of person you meet at icebreakers was in attendance. After my RA came the intelligent independent woman who never needs men, followed by her boyfriend, then the guy who likes to perform magic at parties, after that came the perfect male specimen that every woman dreamed of, the girl who thinks that silence is deadly so she constantly talks… you get the idea. I’d like to say that I got to know these people more before I wrote this article, but I didn’t. In all honesty, icebreakers are set up in such a way that the first impression of a person is signified as exactly who that person is. Fun fact, people are complex, emotional, and deep beings that could not explain themselves completely in a 20 page essay titled “Who I Am”. Instead we have to give a picture of who we are in what feels like 50 words or less. Now this paragraph brings up my (least) favorite introduction at that icebreaker, my own.
“Uhh, hi. My name is Kelli and I’m an English major with a double minor in creative writing and music. I like biking, I mean cycling, playing drums, and, umm, I like Italian food. A fun fact about me is between the time I was 5 and 7 I was 6.”
I said this with a stance that conveyed nervousness. My mind was racing, thinking things like “You should have mumbled less”, “What a stupid fun fact, is the next one ‘I have red hair’?”, and “Did you really just say ‘I like playing drums’? Now people are going to think you’re an idiot, which you are.” The only thing I was satisfied with was the word length.
I was the last person in the circle to speak, meaning my RA was sitting right next to me. As her toothy smile was displayed to our group people kept looking at me, possibly judging me as I had judged them. Then I farted, loudly.
Not one person laughed at my flatulence.
–Kelli Knipe, Contributor