Hello, dear readers! In this issue, we take a nostalgic look at one of the first articles ever written for The Sundial, “Women are Actually People Too!” Dictated in 1911 by wealthy equestrian, Oxford transfer student, and first-time comedy writer George Vossenwinkel, it gives a rare look at a unique period in America’s history!

I must confess I am a bit nervous, readers, as I’ve never tried my hand at this “comedy” before, but I do find the idea quite charming. The only “comedy” we had back on the Estate was pushing our old negro butler Jimbuh down the stairs when we were little. Oh, how mama would laugh! But I digress. On to the main subject! I believe (hee-hee) that women are actually people too (ha-ha), and that they are equal (hee-hee-hee) to men. Furthermore, their feelings (heeee-ha-ha-ha!) and their opinions (Oh God, Haha! Their opinions!) are perfectly valid Oh this is positively delightful! Hahahahaha!! This really is too much! Oh, my sides are perfectly splitting open with mirth! What fun this “comedy” is!

Anywho, I must get back into character. Ahem…. I also believe that women should have the right to vote and HAHAHAHA!!! Oh, what gobbledygook! I can’t! I can’t even do this right now!! Isn’t this marvelous, Ruth? No, don’t actually answer, Ruth, it was a rhetorical question. Just keep typing what I say. You girls can be perfect blockheads at times…

Oh Flibbertigibbet! Readers, I tripped and almost fell just now pacing about the room. I swear, sometimes I have worse balance than Jimbuh! Hafafahahfahfaha!

What a good idea it was to dictate this rather than write it! Right, Ruth? Oh, she’s busy silently scribbling away everything I say. Like an obedient woman should! I mean… women should be free to make their own choices and even determine what makes them happy ahahahaha! Equal wages! Hohoho! A voice in government! Heeee! Susan B. Anthony! Who gives a shit?! Oh man, I think I’ve had my fair share of dictating for today. I enjoyed this! I believe I will stay with this “comedy” magazine. It may become something someday…. . Cheerio!

Alright, I believe we’re done here. If you could just hand me my hat and cane… are you still typing, Ruth? You dunce! I said we’re done! What I’m saying right now isn’t part of the story! Stop typing! I swear, Ruth, it’s like you’re trying to be the inferior gender….