There are several different types of boys commonly found on the Oval, each as mysterious as the next. Fortunately, after performing a ritual under the harvest moon, we can give you a glimpse into the enigma that is the male mind…

  • “Dude, throw me the Frisbee again, she wasn’t looking!”
  • “I’ll give that guy a high five, but no homo.”
  • “I look so awesome riding my longboard down the Oval.”
  • “Take off your headphones! You’re gonna miss it! How many other bagpipe performances do you think I’ll do today? Have you ever even seen a set of bagpipes before now?”
  • “Ok, Spike, just like we practiced. Find the pretty ladies and wag your tail. That’ll get me a date.”
  • “They named this library after me, then cast me in bronze and set me out front, but I don’t even like books.”
  • “OH MY GOD, A TEACUP PIG.”
  • “That guy looks like such a douche riding his longboard down the Oval.”
  • “Bet you my shirt I can catch that football! TOO LATE I already took my shirt off!”
  • “Do you think anyone actually listens to us during Oval Sing?”

-Ivy Decker & Jackie Shreves, Staff-Writers