Many are familiar with the popular line, “Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” from the famous 1897 editorial piece, “Is There A Santa Claus?” However, it was not until recent that the first draft of this editorial was discovered. Let it be noted that this original draft is drastically different from the published version featured in The New York Sun newspaper. So it is not advised to be read aloud to young children. For the first time ever, here is the unpublished and totally legitimate editor’s response to Virginia O’Hanlon as it reads:
“Virginia, your friends are right. They seem to have this thing called ‘common sense’ that not many people are blessed enough to have. They realize that the entire concept of Santa Claus is incomprehensible and therefore cannot be. They are no longer living in some twisted, fantasy world where an old man gets his jollies from breaking into homes and delivering toys to small children. The intellect of the person who actually believes in him is probably at most that of an ant.
So no, Virginia you ignorant slut, there is no Santa Claus. He does not exist. If this upsets you, please save the tears for your pillow. Because Santa Claus is not the be-all, end-all of love and generosity and devotion in this life. This myth-of-a-man does not have a monopoly on Christmas spirit and miracles. All of life’s joy can and has existed without Santa Claus through the beauty of poetry and romance. The realization of his inexistence does not mean the light of childhood is extinguished. Since you clearly still have some growing up to do.
Believe in Santa Claus? You might as well believe in fairies while you’re at it. You might as well get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, and when they do not see Santa Claus coming down, there will be your proof. Nobody sees Santa Claus which is an obvious sign there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that can actually be seen, heard, or touched (um, duh). Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, because like Santa fairies do not exist, idiot. Nobody can conceive all the wonders there are in this world, but it’s safe to say Santa Claus is merely a figment of your imagination.
Your father was probably hoping you’d be reading some fluff about the mystery and magic of the “unseen world” so he wouldn’t have to spell it out to you himself. It is not surprising your dad didn’t want to openly admit there is no Santa Claus to you. However, it is surprising he told you to ask The New York Sun newspaper instead of the usual, ‘I don’t know. Go ask your mom.’
To conclude, there’s no Santa Claus! Yet a thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, ‘Santa’ will continue to make glad the heart of childhood. When in reality, it is entirely and completely the parents buying their children these presents. So what does this ‘Santa’ guy really matter, Virginia, so as long as you still get your precious, little toys.”
Church, Francis Pharcellus. “Is There A Santa Claus?” Editorial. The New York Sun [New York, NY] 21 Dec. 1897: n. pag. The New York Sun. Web. 21 Dec. 2012. <http://www.nysun.com/editorials/yes-virginia/68502/>.
-Mary Lavelle, Contributor