Ah, internet comment sections. Anyone who has seen even like five of them knows that they can get pretty weird, especially when those comment sections are discussing social movements, such as feminism (comment sections of pretty much every video on youtube also get kinda weird, if you’re ever so inclined). Don’t read those comment sections unless you don’t love yourself. Instead, this guide to the types of people who comment on feminist articles online is all you’ll ever need to read, since most comment sections regarding a mainstream article on feminism result in pretty much the same comments from the same types of people just about every single time!
Anyway, here’s a theoretical article and the comments that would probably result from the piece. Enjoy, or at least try to.
Article Title (LITERALLY JUST ABOUT ANYTHING ABOUT FEMINISM COULD GO HERE but for example’s sake let’s just do this, this is a title of an article that theoretically shouldn’t be too controversial):
Why rape culture is bad and sexist and why we need to fix it
Content of article: the article is simple, and discusses some statistics about rape culture and how women experience it and why it is bad.
Comments (2837347983):
DUDE ONE: i have never seen this happen before, therefore it is not real
DUDE TWO: rape culture is bad but it’s not sexist these things are not connected at all lol
DUDE THREE: yeah but like this happens to both men and women? so why are we not talking about me?
DUDE FOUR: not all men
DUDE FIVE: I use logic and reason in everything and I read 50 hours per week and I will tell you that this article’s argument is completely invalid because facts, such as [insert things that are not actually facts here]. As demonstrated by my ability to form complete sentences, I am a rational person and everyone who disagrees with me is not, including feminists.
DUDE SIX: yeah but it’s just basic biology do u not agree that men and women are.. well uh, men aren’t better than women but..they’re different, you know? Also (hmm I need to bring up the wage gap and say it’s a lie even though it wasn’t mentioned in the article I just really need to do this) the wage gap is a lie just so we are clear, if women want to make more money they just need to choose the right jobs but they don’t, and whose problem is that
DUDE SEVEN: yes hello i will not agree with anything this article says unless you provide me 6,000 scholarly articles (but only written by people I like) that provide validity to your argument, in addition to signatures from both the president and the pope which indicate that they agree with the article otherwise no deal
DUDE EIGHT: i like everything this article says i am a super feminist guy:)) haha this means one of you pretty ladies reading this will sleep with me right
DUDE NINE: Okay but why is it called feminism? can we call it equalism please? I think that calling it feminism ignores the problems of men???? I cannot google this myself please try to teach me. after you try to do this I will turn into dude seven
DUDE TEN: not all men
DUDE ELEVEN: not all men, dude ten is my bro!!! some of us are nice guys (me. me specifically. I am a nice guy.) and you all need to acknowledge that ok like give me credit for being a decent person and doing what i am supposed to be doing I deserve a cookie this is just so hard
GIRL ONE: So I would consider myself a feminist *but* you all are taking this too far with this basic feminism 101 article it’s just too far way too radical sorry everyone else we do not actually hate men way to give feminism a bad name as usual!!!1!
GIRL TWO: this is why i’m not a feminist even though I am a woman i do not believe i am a victim like this article totally implies, chivalry is dead and feminism killed it! (This entire statement had nothing to do with me spewing my internalized misogyny all over the place, thanks)
GIRL THREE: This is a great article, and I like how this it tackles [insert problem here]. However, while this article brings up many important points, I think it should discuss more about what sorts of problems transgender women and Women of Color often face that are often even worse than—
>>>>Reply to ‘Girl Three’ by OTHER ‘FEMINISTS’: EXCUSE ME YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE LEGITIMATE CRITICISMS OF THE MOVEMENT WE ARE ALWAYS CORRECT WHY DON’T YOU JUST CORRECT THE MEN WHO ARE MORE WRONG THAN WE ARE IN THIS THREAD also i do not know what a ‘transgender’ is
DUDE ELEVEN, aka WEIRD CREEPY GUY THAT AGAINST ALL ODDS FOUND THIS PART OF THE INTERNET: ok girls i love you girls women you don’t need to be angry about these problems we men still love you even if you’re angry sometimes
DUDE TWELVE: if a female wants respect they should just [insert probably the strangest combination of words you could ever think of here]
DUDE THIRTEEN: you guys can vote now, right? So what is the problem
OLD PERSON WHO SOMEHOW FIGURED OUT HOW TO POST THIS COMMENT, ALSO THEIR PROFILE PHOTO IS PROBABLY THEIR PET: what I think everyone forgets is that women used to be much more respectable,, they didnt wear slutty clothes to get attentiin…….
DUDE FOURTEEN: Okay but why is everyone so angry??
DUDE FIFTEEN: not all men
[THE REST OF THIS COMMENT SECTION IS JUST AN INFINITE REPEAT OF THE ABOVE COMMENTS]
Too Long; Didn’t Read: unless you want to make a point of taking in as much stupidity as physically possible in a span of five minutes, stay away from comment sections on mainstream feminist articles on the internet.
–Stav, Senior Staff Member