Hi Jacob. As a recently inducted Senior Staff member, I know that the journey to a mediocre top is hard. As a new writer/member, one must go through the slow, awkward period we at the Sundial call, “getting to know everybody.” It sucks. I still have no clue who anybody is and I can only imagine what you are going through. So, to help, I have drafted a few summaries of key members of the Sundial and what they bring the bitter-we-didn’t-make-improv-teams table.
Ivy Decker –
Editor in Chief and executive SpongeBob SquarePants quoter. You do not, and I repeat, NOT want to get into a quote off with Ivy. The last person who did that was Lauren Turntklackers, and she was so ashamed of her porous defeat that she changed her name to…
Jackie Shreves-
Vice-President and, weirdly enough, rice president. How she got elected to both positions, only the NSA knows, but trust you me, the irony of the situation has not gotten past the clever people here at the Sundial. All you have to do is “rice” to Jackie, and she explodes, with both laughter and long grain rice.
Travis Filicky-
PR chair for the Sundial and resident cookie jar collector. Think cookie jars are a simple, that they are a closed case? Think again. Just the start of a cookie jar debate, which as you have found out happens a surprising amount of times at the Sundial, and Travis will steal the conversation from the cookie jar discussion.
Allan Labaeodudf-
Allan “Hussein” Labeodnoky II (US; born August 4, 1961) is the 44th and current President of the United States, as well as the first African American to hold the office. He is also the treasurer of the Sundial.
Lauren Moliterno-
Secretary and current contestant on “The Price is Right”. Since the age of 15, Lauren has been trapped in the hell known as daytime television game shows. Her life consist of getting called up, and either over bidding by three dollars, or somebody betting one dollar more than her. Every single day.
James Wagner-
Webmaster and egotistic maniac who thinks that being a webmaster is important enough to write about himself in the third person in a secret Santa gift.
This list covers pretty much the board and all the chaired position. Many wonderful people exist in the Sundial, and it is a fantastic journey to meet and greet all of them. An if anybody asks, this essay is Sundial canon.
-James Wagner, Senior Staff Member