This year’s Undergraduate Student Government election at Ohio State has found its challenger: Stav [Last Name Redacted].
A Feb. 16 report announced that Gerard Basalla and Danielle Di Scala, members of USG, were initially running for president and vice president unopposed. But the election made room for one more Friday night when [Last Name Redacted] declared her candidacy.
“I, Stav [Last Name Redacted], am running a write in campaign for USG president,” said [Last Name Redacted] in the tweet.
[Last Name Redacted]’s official campaign photo
[Last Name Redacted], a third-year History and Modern Greek major, is staging a write-in campaign to challenge the status quo in USG and give free kittens to all students. She is threatening the USG establishment and speaking about what the students really want, like mozzarella sticks at dining facilities.
Her initial plans, like her position on free kittens for everyone, were released Friday on Twitter and with the hashtag #ready4stav. She also announced a proposal for professors to play Neko Atsume, a Japanese cat game, on a daily basis.
The feline-led platform is no surprise; The Sundial featured [Last Name Redacted] in January for undergoing the very first “human-to-cat” surgery. As student representative, she is confident her feline features are likely to make her more approachable by students, but she also hopes her opponents won’t be tempted distract her with laser pointers, which is very much her Achilles’ Heel.
More recent plans include banning salmon-colored shorts, banning photos with grandparents on Tinder, and replacing CABS busses with pirate ships.
Regarding the pirate ship policy, [Last Name Redacted] said, “I’m not saying this is practical, I’m saying this will be fun and we should do it anyway.”
The campaign also announced that anyone who would like to run as vice president on the [Last Name Redacted]ticket is more than welcome to do so; currently about 10 people, including [Last Name Redacted] herself, have expressed interested in the position.
One of [Last Name Redacted]’s Vice Presidents, Nick Wymer, aspires to “make Ohio State gay again,” and hopes to actively push the gay agenda at USG, which he claims is annoyingly heteronormative. He also said earlier this week that under his regime, there would be pierogis at Kennedy Commons every day, rather than just occasionally.
Nick Wymer campaign photo
In the meantime, [Last Name Redacted] is taking to social media to listen to students concerns and post photos of cats flying on burritos. Any tweets signed –Σ are written by Stav herself. She says the other tweets are either written by the frat guy who stole her phone with Twitter logged in last month or a literal cat, we still are not sure.
Since launching, her campaign Twitter has amassed over 100 followers. The launch was not all positive, however, as [Last Name Redacted] has been criticized for her Greek heritage. Said one student, “I think we’re all tired of the Greek influence in USG.”
A recent demographic report found that there are a disproportionate amount of Greek life students in USG and unfortunately [Last Name Redacted], more commonly known as Σταυρούλα, is really, really Greek. According to her Facebook records, she is a Modern Greek major, her parents are Greek, she speaks Greek almost fluently and she has been to Greece several times. Because USG is already primarily Greek, her heritage will complicate her anti-establishment image.
Also of concern is her name, [Last Name Redacted], and its connection to Pabst Blue Ribbon on a campus that mostly drinks Natural Light.
Furthermore, [Last Name Redacted] has not provided an alternative to those who are allergic to cats. “You win some, you lose some” she tweeted to someone expressing concern over cat allergies.
[Last Name Redacted] running a write-in campaign may be difficult, considering that her first name, Stav, is, at the least, somewhat confusing, and, at worst, sounds like someone sneezing profusely. Even still, nearly ten percent of voters decided to write in Cardale Jones at last year’s elections without attempting a run, so [Last Name Redacted] has a chance.
The rogue campaign is inspired in part by [Last Name Redacted]’s nagging feminism. “Crush the patriarchy” is her maxim and is bound to be a rallying cry for many of [Last Name Redacted]’s supporters.
“I am proud to give people a choice in this election. And I want to give them a kitten, too,” said [Last Name Redacted].
[Last Name Redacted] will be ramping up advertising and rolling out campaign materials as USG candidates Basalla and Di Scala prepare for the campaign. USG candidates Basalla and Di Scala were not asked for comment, but their campaign followed [Last Name Redacted] on Twitter Tuesday.
The election also comes shortly before the Ohio presidential primary election, and supporters of Senator Bernie Sanders know not to underestimate an underdog like [Last Name Redacted]. They understand the importance of grassroots support and a competitive campaign.
“Yeah, I guess I was ‘feelin’ the Bern,’” said Mary, a student voter, “but now I feel like voting for Stav.”
[Last Name Redacted] intends to remain as competitive as possible throughout the election process. “If need be, I can and will challenge Basalla to a Pokemon battle. This won’t be over without a fight,” she said.
The campaign has been launched, and only time will whether or not [Last Name Redacted] is on the cusp of a political revolution, or more importantly, whether or not we all receive free kittens.
-Travis Filicky and Stav, Senior Staff Members