1. Thou shalt harvest thy crops in the fall.
  2. Thou shalt turn thy face at analog clocks.
  3. Thou shalt break bread at Buckeye Donuts.
  4. Thou shalt self promote without shame.
  5. Thou shalt never read the mission statement correctly.
  6. Thou shalt sit on a whoopee cushion with correct technique.
  7. Thou shalt put the right subject line when submitting a piece.
  8. There shall be no limit on the amount of soup, salad, and bread sticks.
  9. Thou shalt wonder why chairs have four legs. Who decided that? When did it become standard? Hi, I’m Jerry Seinfeld.
  10. Thou shalt not kill.
  11. Thou shalt not sing Hamilton while James Wagner is in the room.
  12. Thou shalt enact inebriated improv.
  13. Thou shalt not do a corn maze hungover.
  14. Thou shalt hold hands around the Sundial in a cult fashion.
  15. Thou shalt forsake thy emotions when writing comedy.
  16. Thou shalt “I have the higher ground, Anakin.”
  17. Thou shalt? We shalt.

-The Sundial Staff, in collaboration