Hillary Clinton had no reservations about choosing a well-known candidate as her running mate.
“I hate him! I love him! He’s a scoundrel! He’s a saint! He’s crazy! He’s a genius!” said Clinton of her choice for vice president.
Clinton chose Charles Foster Kane as her running mate in an awkward Facebook group message to her supporters on Friday.
“Charles Foster Kane is everything Donald Trump and Mike Pence are not,” said Clinton in the message.
The announcement marks the end of Clinton’s veepstakes. The overachieving grandmother of pantsuit and political acclaim has chosen the mysterious media mogul from cinema history. Together, they will fight to stop “The Apprentice” reality star from turning the White House into a casino.
But will Kane, the subject of a 1941 film widely regarded as the best ever, overshadow the candidate at the top of the ticket?
In previous elections, Kane has garnered a lot of positive attention. His run for governor of New York started with an unprecedented rise in popularity, largely due to the unpopularity of his opponent Harvey Dent. Through his newspapers, Kane relished in bad musicians like Ted Nugent endorsing his opponents. His children drew ugly cartoons of his opponents and Kane published them on the front pages.
“His papers were giving your grumpy grandfather something to be angry about,” said Kane’s lifelong friend, Jedediah Leland. “He fueled ignorant political arguments like no one had before.”
Despite his popularity, Kane lost the New York election after being exposed in a marital affair. Fortunately for Kane, the Clintons have never let a little scandal stop them before.
What may be troublesome are Kane’s similarities to Trump, particularly regarding failed business deals. For years Kane has been scrutinized and mocked for his infamous Xanadu estate. The world’s largest private estate, located on a mountain in Florida, has been referred to as both a “stately pleasure dome” and “forty-nine thousand acres of nothing but scenery and statues.” The estate, unfinished, has been crumbling from Kane’s neglect.
Trump criticized Kane and his estate Saturday morning during an angry tweetstorm.
“Crooked Hillary chose a loser for VP. Kane drove Xanadu into the ground and his wife left him. Sad!” said Trump.
But Kane visibly overshadows Clinton with something she already struggles with: trustworthiness. A recent Sundial/Fake Lantern poll found that nearly 6 in 10 voters would not play Truth or Dare with Clinton. That number was 8 in 10 for Kane.
Clinton’s trust issues have surrounded Benghazi and her email server. For Kane, it’s always been one word: “Rosebud.”
Newsreel reporter Jerry Thompson has followed Kane for years, and he has never been concerned about the mystery surrounding “Rosebud.”
“Maybe Rosebud was something he couldn’t get, or something he lost. Anyway, it wouldn’t have explained anything… I don’t think any word can explain a man’s life.”
Kane currently holds a place in cinema history as a tragic American character. Can this election rewrite him as an American triumph? Clinton and Kane are trying to do just that.
-Travis Filicky, Senior Staff Member