INT. OCTOBER’S ROOM
Julia is sitting at her desk, tapping a pen against her temple.
Julia: You’re clearly delusional.
October: You think so?
Julia: Well, maybe not delusional, but there’s something wrong with you.
October: You’re not even going to entertain the possibility that I saw a ghost?
Julia (considering it for a moment): I can’t help you on this one.
October: I suppose I can’t blame you… I have to go to her funeral on Friday.
Julia: Well, if you see her there take a picture.
October receives a text message.
October: Hey, Louis is coming over.
Julia: What? Why?
October: I asked him to. So you can explain your plan.
Julia: What’s the matter with you? You don’t tell the person you’re trying to manipulate how you’re going to do it.
October: He has to agree to go along with it. How else do you expect to get him to go to two political events?
Julia: We would come up with a plan.
October: This was the plan.
Julia (growing anxious): Well, a different plan, a better plan. This is not a plan. No plan would be better than this plan.
Louis knocks on the door.
October (walking to the door): Just calm down. Alright?
October opens the door and Louis enters the room.
Louis: You’ll never believe this. Elaine de-friended me on Facebook. And she didn’t just de-friend me. No. She texted me to tell me that she de-friended me. I swear she’s inventing ways to insult me. She says she doesn’t want to be associated with someone who supports Trump? Well, fine! I mean, this is so childish.
Louis plops down.
October: Listen, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Me and Julia came up with a plan.
Julia: I’m Julia.
October: We would like you to attend two political events, one for Hillary and one for Trump. Then you can make up your mind about who you support.
Louis: No.
October: Why not?
Louis: I’ve already made up my mind. I’m not gonna be swayed by some stupid event.
Julia: Come on, man. Can’t you just try to be open minded and listen to someone else’s point of view?
Louis: You guys are such hypocrites. Why can’t you hear from my point of view? I have someone else’s point of view.
October: Can’t you just do it to ease the tension? I think if you at least act like you’re open to changing your mind, Elaine will forgive you.
Louis: See, this is such a typical girl thing, where you want to change a guy. I don’t know if that’s sexist, but I feel it. And I think you’re all watching too many of those movies where the nice girl dates the bad boy and thinks she can change him, but she can’t so they break up. And if the stories ended right there, they’d be accurate, but they don’t. Instead, the guy misses her so much that he really does end up changing, and he wins her back. It’s ridiculous! I mean, you watch enough of those and it starts creeping into your subconscious. People actually think that’s supposed to happen. But loving people isn’t about changing them, it’s about accepting them for who they are, or whatever.
October: But you and Elaine aren’t dating.
Louis (agitated): It applies to friendships, too!
Julia: You know, guys do the same thing. Just look at October and her religious friend.
Louis: So he is trying to convert you.
October: He’s not trying to convert me. We happen to be going to a baptism at his church on Sunday because I wanted to see what it’s like.
Louis (chuckling): Oh my God, you are so easy.
October (a little pissed): Alright, you know what, why don’t you just get the hell out.
Louis gets up to leave.
Louis: I suppose I shouldn’t be that surprised that you’re kicking me out, considering how easily you change you mind.
October (looking away with her arms crossed): Out.
Louis exits. There’s a moment of silence as the room settles.
Julia: Oh, hey, by the way, you got a letter today.
Julia hands October an envelope. Upon seeing that the letter is from Annie, October lets out a long sigh.
Annie’s Letter
Dear October,
You didn’t respond to my previous letter. I suppose that I understand why. I’ve decided not to study abroad in Belgium. It’s far too expensive. I think I wanted to go for the wrong reasons, more to bolster my own ego, after it experienced a crushing blow, than to immerse myself in a foreign culture. Perhaps I needed to convince myself that I could be cool and exciting and adventurous on my own. But that has become unnecessary now that I’m over you.
This is my third draft of this letter. Originally, I included a poem about how I’ve moved on entitled “Postcard Memoirs”, but I’ve decided that since I’m over you now I shouldn’t care if you read it. I have to say that I’m disappointed that you won’t get to, because it’s really good. You might have even fallen in love with me again, had you read it. But I no longer want you to have feelings for me.
Enjoy the rest of your life without me.
Sincerely,
Annie
P.S. Still haven’t heard back about that sweater.
After finishing the letter, October crumbles it into a ball and tosses it in the bin.
CUT TO:
INT. THE FUNERAL HOME
October, draped in black, wanders around the wake, dumbstruck, waiting to feel the things you think you ought to at such a time. People all around chat about their pasts and eat tiny pieces of carrots and celery from paper plates, acting as if though this were a joyous celebration and avoiding at all costs any thoughts of the ineffable weight of death. Distant relatives and family friends lurch at her eagerly, looking to break the stagnant air with mindless small talk and platitudinous questions they think they ought to ask.
First Cousin Once Removed: You must be David’s daughter. You’ve grown up so much. How old are you now?
October (not the faintest idea who this is): I’m eighteen.
First Cousin Once Removed: And are you in school?
October: Yeah, I’m a freshman at Ohio State.
First Cousin Once Removed: That’s great, really great. What are you majoring in?
October: Theatre.
First Cousin Once Removed: Well, you know, most people end up switching majors while they’re in college.
October: Well, technically, I already changed my major. So maybe I’m ahead of the curve.
First Cousin Once Removed: That’s great, really great.
The First Cousin Once Removed drifts away.
Aunt Claire: October, sweetheart, how are you? How’s school? Have you picked a major yet?
October: School is good. I’m majoring in theatre.
Aunt Claire: When I started in school I was a design major, and I ended up working at a law firm. I suppose you never know where life will take you.
October: Yeah, I guess life is funny that way.
Aunt Claire drifts away. Edna woods appears behind October.
Edna: I told you. You’re too ugly to be an actress. No one here has any faith in you. You’re meant for the darkness, child, not the spotlight.
Sheryl Woods: Toby, honey, are you going to visit your grandmother’s casket before they close it? I know it’s frightening, but this is your last chance to see her.
October (trying to maintain her composure): Yeah, I’ll walk over there.
October, gets in line to see Edna’s casket. Art Nutting, a friend of October’s father, gets behind her in line and decides that this is an appropriate time to chitchat.
Art Nutting: October, how ya doin’? Your pops told me you’re a theatre major, now. That’s a hell of a field to go into.
October (fully aware of her grandmother’s ghost): Well, actually, I’m thinking about switching back to English. It just seems like it might be a bit more practical.
Edna: Good, child. Stay in the shadows.
Art Nutting: That’s fantastic. You know I always thought you’d end up a writer or something like that. You’ve always been so smart and creative, ever since you were a kid, nothing like your grandmother.
Art gestures toward the casket.
Art Nutting: I mean, no offense, but this is as lively as she’s ever been.
Edna: I never liked him.
October moves forward in line until she’s standing in front of the casket.
Edna: Look at me lying there so peacefully—so much prettier than you’ll ever be. I really could have been a star if I’d stuck with it, but that ugly boy had to ruin it for me. That’s why people like you have to keep out of the limelight, child. Just be content with writing the parts for us naturals.
October, searching the depths of her soul and finding only self-doubt, summons a bit of confidence from someone else’s soul that she wishes she was more like.
October (nearly shouting): I have to act!
Everyone in the room looks at October, quietly glad that they’re not the only ones that have to act like they’re sad that Edna passed away.
Art Nutting: Acting’s nice, too. You know, I was a theatre major in college.
CUT TO:
INT. BRADLEY’S CHURCH
In the basement of the mid-renovation, ramshackle church the walls are solemn and bare, except for a few gold crosses and posters of stained glass windows. A large iron tub sits in the center of the room, surrounded by collapsable wooden chairs. The seats are full of honest, hardworking, church-going folks and October, who’s sitting in the back row with Bradley. The parish is lead by a large, bearded man with hair poking out of his partially unbuttoned shirt. Reverend Chester Thomas, normally an unassuming man, seems quite imposing when he’s plunging the head of a seventy year old man into a tub full of ice cold water.
Reverend Thomas (letting the man breathe): In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost I hereby baptize thee.
Reverend Thomas again dunks the man’s head in to the water.
Reverend Thomas: Take that Satan! Get your ass out of this old man!
Reverend Thomas pulls the man out of the water, places a towel around his shivering shoulders, and guides him to a seat in the front row.
Reverend Thomas: Does anyone else want a piece of the baptizer?
The room is silent, except for the traditional clearing of phlegm.
October (whispering to Bradley): I think I’m gonna do it.
Bradley: What?
October’s inclination blossoms into determination.
October: I’m gonna do it.
October gets up and walks toward the baptizer.
October (without the slightest apprehension): Alright, baptize me.
Reverend Thomas nods thoughtfully, and then grabs October’s head and thrusts it with gusto into the water.
Reverend Thomas: Come on, Jesus, work your magic!
The Reverend let’s October up for air.
Reverend Thomas: Try to swallow a little. Holy water’s good for the system.
He plunges her head back into the water.
Reverend Thomas: I can feel your spirit flowing within me, O Lord, and you’re telling me to drown this poor girl! Drown all of her sinfulness and self-doubt! Drown all of her sorrow! Drown all of her pain!
Reverend Thomas holds her down for another minute and then pulls her head out of the water. October gasps for air, clutching her chest in pain.
October (still trying to catch her breath): I feel the same.
Reverend Thomas: Hmm. Well, second time’s the charm.
The Reverend forcefully thrusts her head back into the water.
Reverend Thomas: Get out of there, Satan! You’re not welcome in this house! I won’t let you take this girl from me! Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!
Reverend Thomas keeps her head submerged for what seems like a criminally negligent amount of time before letting her back up. October immediately begins coughing out water and taking in bigs gulps of air, as he wraps her in a towel. After a few moments, she recovers and makes her way to the back row. When she makes it to Bradley she grabs him by the neck and gives him a long, drawn-out kiss.
October (releasing Bradley and smiling warmly): I’m a lesbian.
With that October leaves, never to show her face there again.
CUT TO:
INT. DONATOS BASEMENT
The room is dimly lit, and the cast members of The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust have rearranged the chairs for the first staged reading of Dylan’s newly rewritten minimum opus. In the corner of the room, one of the few lightbulbs flickers noticeably. Cast members are reluctantly eating pizza, because they have to order a certain amount of food to use the room.
Vanessa (reading from the script): The year is 2020 and there are five years left to cry in. All around the market square there are many mothers sighing. The curtains open to reveal Stella and Orion Syzygy.
Orion (played by Louis): I can’t believe earth is really dying.
Stella (played by Elaine): Did you see the news guy? When I saw that his face was wet from crying, I knew he was not lying.
Orion (clutching his forehead): My brain hurts like a warehouse just thinking of all the people that are going to die. Think of it. Everyone you ever knew will be gone. It’s the end of civilization. Growing up, I never thought I’d meet so many people, and now…
Orion trails off.
Stella (deviating from the script): If only we could go back in time and stop Donald Trump from becoming president.
The scene falls apart.
Louis: Seriously, can’t you just let this go?
Elaine: No, I can’t. I thought I knew you, but I was wrong.
Louis: Really? You’re going to throw away our relationship over some petty political difference?
Vanessa: Stop bickering like an old married couple. You’re playing a newly married couple. You’re supposed to still like each other.
Louis: It’s not my fault, she’s the one that interrupted the scene.
Vanessa: Look, I don’t care why you’re breaking up or who’s fault it is. This isn’t the place for it.
Louis: We’re not breaking up!
Elaine: We were never dating!
Vanessa: Well, then why are you fighting?
Louis: Friends can fight, too!
There’s a nice, long pause. Things settle.
Vanessa: Alright, can we just… let’s start with Ziggy Stardust’s entrance.
Ziggy Stardust walks up to Orion and Stella.
Ziggy Stardust (played by October): Orion, Stella, I’m so glad I found you. Last night on the radio I heard some hazy cosmic jive. At first I thought it was rock and roll, but it was a star man communicating with me from outer space. A star man waiting in the sky! He said he’d like to come and meet us, but he’s afraid he’d blow our minds. He told me to start a rock and roll band to spread his message.
Orion: A rock and roll band?
Ziggy Stardust: Yes, a rock and roll band. And I want you two to be in it. We’ll call ourselves Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.
Edna Woods materializes in the basement, surrounded by smoke and flashing lights and other supernatural visual effects. She’s overcome with anger, brimming, seething, blistering even. And, unable to tame her untamable anger, she bolts forward and tackles October with tremendous force. Bam! Knocked to the ground. Dylan pops up and saunters over to lend a hand, singing “Come get up, my baby”.
Dylan (helping October up): Who is this elderly woman?
October: You can see her?
Dylan: Of course I can see her.
And of course no one else can.
Edna (now upset with Dylan): I command you to remove her from this play.
David Bowie: Edna?
The ghost of David Bowie is standing in the back of the room, apparently. He comes forward.
Dylan: You know this woman?
Edna: Davie, is that you?
David Bowie: No one’s called me that in a long time.
Edna: You look so different, now. You’re so… handsome.
David Bowie: You should have seen me when I was still alive, love.
Edna (bewildered): But you used to be so… And now you’re so…
David Bowie: I grew up, I suppose.
Everyone who isn’t October or Dylan is very confused at the moment. “Perhaps this is part of the show,” they think.
Edna: You’ve changed so much.
David Bowie: But I haven’t, not really. It’s just filling in the outlines, you see. It’s all shading.
Edna (standing in awe): I’ve been angry with you for so long. And, here it is—I was so wrong about you.
David Bowie: Perhaps I’m not the only one with a bad eye.
There’s magic in the air. Edna and David Bowie slowly move towards each other as if to embrace.
Dylan (failing to hide his excitement): This is fantastic! Wouldn’t this be a great scene in the play? I need to rewrite it. We need to add this. I’m gonna add parts for both of you.
Vanessa: Parts for whom?
Dylan: The ghosts.
Vanessa (putting down her script and getting up to leave): Alright, I quit.
CUT TO:
EXT. ANNIE’S HOUSE
It’s winter, now, and several months have passed since Edna’s ghost first reunited with the ghost of David Bowie. After hearing about the episode, Elaine and Louis decided to make up. Not wanting to wait until Louis was dead to forgive him, Elaine decided to just pretend that he was supporting Trump ironically. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust went through many rounds of rewrites but, by the end of autumn semester, was ready for its lackluster debut. By any metric, the play was a complete disaster. It included 20 minutes of empty stage time for ghost related scenes, and several audience members were upset when they were asked to buy Donatos pizza so that the cast could avoid paying for the room. After much reflection, October began to regret breaking up with Annie, and, at Julia and Elaine’s urging, decided to try and win her back.
October knocks on Annie’s door.
Annie (opening the door): October…
October: Hi
Annie: What are you doing here?
October finds it more difficult to come up with something to say than she expected.
October (collecting her thoughts along the way): I’m sorry about how things ended between us. You know, you sent me those letters, and I should have responded, but I just couldn’t bring myself to. And I know it’s silly and cliche, but I think I needed to figure out who I was before I could be ready for a relationship. And I don’t know if I’ve actually done that yet, or if I ever will, but I miss you.
A moment of hesitation before the dagger.
Annie (sorrowful): I’m really sorry, but I’m seeing someone.
October (voice quivering): Oh…
There’s a long pause, and Annie realizes that October is wearing her sweater.
Annie (pointing): Hey, you still have my sweater.
October (holding back tears): Oh, yeah, haha, I meant to give it back to you.
October takes off the sweater, hands it to Annie, and, with a few parting words, leaves, never to show her face there again.
Listen: Modern Love – David Bowie
THE END
-EJS, Staff Member