“Come out and show yourself, Rei’jan!” he yelled, waving his lance high at the castle tower. “I am Sir Hallorun, and I come to save the lady Erika from your ruthless grasp! With the authority of the king behind me-”
“-and the blessings of the gods above,” Erika continued with an eyeroll, “I fear no dragon. Same templated speech as all the knights. We’re not starting the week with husband material, RJ.”
“Hey, he did add ‘ruthless’,” Rei’jan murmured, trying to keep his booming voice from echoing throughout the forest.
“And I bet he was super proud of it too,” she said as she walked to a small window and peeked out for a moment. “Hm. He doesn’t look too bad though. Wanna see for yourself?”
Rei’jan rolled out of his improvised nest and onto his feet with a thud. A plate on Erika’s side of the room fell off its table, shattering.
“Careful now!” Erika said.
“Just be grateful I didn’t break your dresser this time.” He crept over to the window and stuck one eye out. “I thought you didn’t like big, scraggly beards.”
“Depends,” she said. “If it’s an ‘I’ve survived in the wilderness for three weeks’ kind of beard, I’m all for it. If it’s just ‘I never learned how to trim a beard properly,’ then no, that’s gross.”
Hallorun noticed the single, slitted eye framed in the window above. “Come out, coward! I wish only for a fair fight!” he shouted with a slight quiver.
Rei’jan glanced back at Erika. “Plug your ears,” he said. He poked his head out of a hatch in the ceiling and let out a deafening roar, filling the sky with flame. Hallorun’s horse reared up, nearly running off on its own; Hallorun had to drop his lance just to keep the horse restrained.
Rei’jan’s head slipped back down. “Okay, but how am I supposed to know which type of beard he has?”
Erika looked up, quizzically. “Ask him about it?”
“In the middle of the whole ‘intimidation’ thing? How am I supposed to pull that off?”
She smirked. “I thought you were the one with the wisdom of a thousand years.”
“Not in dealing with humans!” he said, quietly but punctuated.
Hallorun recovered control of his horse and lance. “You think I would run at the first sight of danger?” he managed. “Think again, you overgrown wyrm!”
Rei’jan’s brow furrowed, and he took a deep, slow breath. “I have an idea. You are not making this easy for me though,” he said as he wriggled through the hatch again. This time, he let out a dark, cocky laugh as he studied Hallorun head-on. “So,” he said, allowing his voice its full volume. “Sir Hallorun, you said?”
“That is I! I hereby challenge you to-”
“Not that it matters,” Rei’jan interrupted. “You’ll burn just the same as the commoners. I do wonder, though – is the king so desperate he’ll grant someone like you knighthood? Or is he just bad at choosing his knights?”
“Foul beast!” Hallorun yelled. “An insult against the High King is an insult against me!”
“Good. And here’s another – you look like a mess.”
After a brief pause, Hallorun smiled slightly and puffed his chest out. “I suppose I should not be surprised you would stoop so low,” he said. “I admit I am not as well-kept as usual, but I have been traveling for three days and three nights-”
“Burn him,” Erika said, and a single resounding blast later, he was reduced to ashes.