Local apartment renter Sarah McMahon reported today that the magazines and flyers sent to her house for previous tenant “Richard Wells” are getting more and more confusing every day. Since she moved into the apartment she rents off of North Star Road Grandview, misdelivered mail meant for the former tenant has not been able to paint an adequate picture of the person who used to call her apartment home.
“Sure. I’ve seen six copies of Esquire. I’ve gotten cards thanking him for campaigning for a local judge called Michael McKee. But I’ve also received four back issues of Cat Fancy, cards from the People’s Charity of Denmark, catalogs for Toys R Us and Trojan R Us, and one huge poster of just the Yellow Teletubbie. I don’t know who the hell Richard Wells is or was or whatever but his mail is freaking me the f*** out” states McMahon.
McMahon’s fiancée Maria Polk also expresses concern about the previous tenant’s checkered past.
“I brought in the mail once and found a beautifully lettered handwritten card on fifty dollar stationary that was signed ‘Yours Truly’. Two weeks later I found half a corndog and a note scribbled on the back of a cereal box signed ‘I’m on to you’. Who was this guy? Are…are we in danger?”
Both McMahon and Polk have reported that McMahon is considering finding a new apartment to rent due to these developments. However, McMahon notes that the relative closeness to the Ohio State University campus and the swimming pool in the apartment’s exercise facility weigh very heavily in the apartment’s favor, despite the possibility of a previous tenant with Mafia ties.
-A Very Tall Woman, Staff Member