- It is Tuesday. Midway is still playing music as loud as is legal. No one is inside. The bartender and the bouncer have long since disappeared.
- A professor is 16 minutes late to a class. Nobody is surprised. A freshman pipes up about how if nobody comes in 15 minutes, the class may leave. Nobody is surprised. The freshman doesn’t leave. Nobody is surprised.
- It is a Friday night. A group of freshman is heading to a party. Seemingly endless. You get stuck within. You may never leave.
- A lone Buckeye Pokemon League Email sits in a student’s inbox. Its kind hasn’t been opened since the week after the involvement fair. It hopes for a better home. One day it will mean something. One day it will show the world what it’s capable of
- All you can think about is football. You have been trained to love only football. Your future life pales in comparison to Ohio State Football.
- You hear a quiet “O-H” in the distance. You are compelled to respond, no matter how you try to resist. “I…..O”
- A sprinkler sputters. It releases nothing. Its brethren release water like a geyser. It sits there. Its soul as empty as its life.
- You enter campus for the first time. Urban Meyer is your god now. You have no choice. All hail Urban Meyer. All hail our king.
- It is Michael Drake. You hate Michael Drake. You don’t know why you hate Michael Drake, but it is ingrained in you. Michael Drake will destroy you and everything you hold dear. Michael Drake will sell your soul to the donors
- Afroduck dies. It is reborn. Afroduck dies. It is reborn. Afroduck dies. It is reborn. The cycle must continue. The cycle must continue
- Your laptop dies. You die.
-Allan, Senior Staff Member