For Allan
COLUMBUS, Ohio – Disrupting the mostly pleasant bar atmosphere Friday night, area man Allan “The Big”, 21, played the 1999 smash hit “All Star” at The Village Idiot to the displeasure of literally every other bar patron. “Oh, this again? This is the third bar and the third time I’ve heard this tonight,” said Travis Filicky, 21, after apologizing to the bartender for his friend’s jukebox faux-pas. The Smash Mouth song has annoyed people at bars and delighted people that want to watch the world burn since being featured in the Academy Award-winning animated feature “Shrek.” Filicky and other sources close to the jukebox abuser have conceded that “The Big” usually has great taste in music. “He has great recommendations when it comes to Dylan or Bowie. But after a few drinks, we’re stuck hearing selections from the “Shrek” soundtrack,” said Filicky. At press time, Filicky was nagging “The Big” to play something better, like “I’m a Believer,” but “The Big” had already used his remaining jukebox credits to play “All Star” again.