Washington DC – In a landmark decision, the United States senate has voted 52-48 to extend the 2nd amendment’s reach to developing infants currently in the second trimester. This new law, introduced by Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA), aims to uphold the bill of rights in a political climate that has seen many worrying that they’ll lose the ability to purchase and use firearms.
“I am thankful that my fellow congressmen saw eye to eye with what is clearly America’s position” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) “This bill clarifies the scope of the constitution, and allows any developing infants to defend themselves and hopefully prevent this senseless loss of life going on in our country. Having extended medical rights to them, it seems only fair to extend them other rights, including the right to bear arms.”
Thus far, public opinion has been sharply divided. While among red states the reception has been positive, at least three large-scale protests have been organized in major cities. At press time, republican lawmakers were looking for a way to make this law suitably discriminatory towards black fetuses.
–Allan, Senior Staff Member