Children: A Speak & Spell
Adults: Any electronics with a speech-to-text feature
Children: A stuffed animal
Adults: A taxidermy rabbit that was shot by a cousin who hunts
Children: Barbie salon toys
Adults: A heavily layered haircut
Children: Harry Potter books
Adults: A very thick mystery novel where the author’s name is printed much larger than the title
Children: Stickers
Adults: Stamps
Children: A Dora the Explorer: Learn Spanish computer game
Adults: A cheat sheet for how to pronounce the names of the new Mexican neighbors
Children: Permission to make a Facebook
Adults: Links to articles about sunscreen, a recently kidnapped teen, and a study showing that pomegranates can cure tinnitus for them to post on Facebook
Children: A trip to Disney World
Adults: A trip to Colonial Williamsburg
Children: Candy and soda
Adults: A 30-year-old bottle of whiskey that is only used to impress guests
Children: A Spotify Premium subscription
Adults: A Consumer Reports subscription
Children: A cell phone
Adults: A cordless landline for each room in the house
Children: Costumes for dress-up
Adults: A pair of high-waisted jeans with a large pocket for coupons and Dentyne gum
Children: A puppy
Adults: A garden gnome who is a “member of the family”
Children: A NERF gun
Adults: An antique pistol that sits on the desk of the home office
Children: An inflatable pool raft
Adults: A canoe that is stored along the side of the house and has only touched water once
Children: Cash
Adults: Cash. Actually, cash would be better than anything else. Please, just do cash.