On Tuesday afternoon, a local robber was spotted sprinting away visibly frustrated after seeing a neighborhood watch sign posted by the street that read, “We report all suspicious activities to our sheriff dept.” Robby’s mom from Auburn Woods neighborhood commented, “Thank goodness everyone and everything is safe. God knows if we’d even be alive if it weren’t for that sign.” Another resident, Robby’s friend’s dad, outside at the time said he heard the robber allegedly say, “Drats! Not again! I’ll have to try that bank on Harrison and Kelley,” before fleeing the scene. Overall, the Auburn Woods community expressed feelings of relief and gratitude for their strong neighborhood watch system.
At press time, it was noted that the bank on Harrison and Kelley reported an unarmed robbery. The robber was described as white, male, and around 6’0″ with a boatload of cash and a jar of suckers. Let it be known that police are only concerned about the stolen money. Do not worry about the jar of suckers as those are free at the bank. Although the felon took more than his fair share, there is nothing criminal about taking something that is free. Nonetheless, stay alert and if you see this man, please contact your local sheriff department.