The Website Gods taketh, but they also giveth.
THE SUNDIAL HEADQUARTERS—disappointed by our attempted insurgency to refill Mirror Lake, the Great Gods of online comedy struck down our beautiful website at sundial.osu.edu and left us scrambling in the desert. For twenty-three days we prayed and fasted to the Almighty Creators, offering many sacrifices* along the way. Finally, it seems, we have recovered their
favor.
It pains us to admit that we may have stumbled along the way. We considered starting our own website—free from our Supreme Deities’ grasp. We even entertained the idea of entangling
solely with other Divines such as Tumblr or Facebook. However, our abounding offerings* helped us remain steadfast. Now, shall we pray?
Oh holy, omnipotent, capable, and everlasting Gods! We ask you for forgiveness for all we have done. Please protect this website and allow our sacrificial lambs* to atone for our sins. Lead us
not into temptation to refill Mirror Lake with whatever water we can find including spit, lest we lose our website once again. Amen.
*this piece is in remembrance of those who gave their lives so we may have a new website (in no particular order): Warren, Cynthia, Jasmine, Jeff, Other Jeff, Other Jeff But Not That One,
Clarice, Stevie, Kyle, and Curd.
Written by RG Barton, Editor-in-Chief