An incredible event took place earlier this week at Thompson Library when the ghost of former Ohio State president, William Oxley Thompson, returned from the afterlife. According to multiple witnesses, Thompson’s first words were, “Wow, this place has really gone to shit.” After being informed of what the fuck happened at Ohio State over the past 100 years, Thompson immediately dropped the following Michael V. Drake diss track:
“Now listen Drake, I built this school’s finest hour
Today, the sight of it makes me sour.
And for what? Everyone knows you are just chasing power.
Take your dirty money elsewhere
To build a fucking clock tower.
Forget the students, the education
You’ll be chasing money until your own cremation
You’re failing, Drake, do you need a tech tutor,
To learn an iPad is garbage next to a computer?
You’re clueless to what happens here living life like a commuter
Top tier status gonna disappear
When you’re too busy dealing with scooters.
You really think your words inspire?
Wrong, but my words gonna make you retire.
$1.25 for a dryer? Prices here couldn’t get any higher;
This university’s potential remains unfulfilled,
Destroy it all so that we can rebuild, just
Burn it down with my rhymes which are fire.
But farewell, I’m headed back to hell,
Which compared to Morrill is a 5 star hotel
After all the situation here is dire,
You wouldn’t even defend your own, Urban Meyer.”
President Michael V. Drake has yet to comment.