Why don’t you talk more?
If you’re an introvert like me, you are probably up to here with this one. Sometimes it’s just is soo #tiring to talk. Sometimes you just want to talk to your best friend, Netflix.
Want to go to brunch with us?
Brunch, an introvert’s worst nightmare. Just a recipe filled with casual conversation and bottomless mimosas. Are Sundays not for sleeping in anymore?! An introvert would choose to snuggle up with their dog instead of talking about their favorite episode of Friends at noon.
The nuclear bombing of Hiroshima was inevitable.
This one is self-explanatory for all of you introverts out there!
I would rather be out with people than cooped up inside all day.
Like really!! The thing most misunderstood about introverts is people think that we don’t like being outside at all. Of course, an introvert can hang loose once in a while, but for an introvert, this is a real undertaking. For an introvert hanging out with people is like exercise, at the end we just need a recharge, for many it could just be a slow day hanging inside!
The atomic bombing of Nagasaki was inevitable.
Introverts have enough difficulty responding and hearing about Hiroshima, and now you’re talking about mental exhaustion building up, just hearing about a large crowd at a party asking them about Nagasaki. If only us introverts had enough energy to talk about how these bombs ruined agriculture in the area for generations from the nuclear fallout. That’s not even mentioning the amount of people that developed cancer from the radiation. You don’t get superpowers, you get leukemia.
How can you spend all day inside?
One word: NETFLIX.
Three words: #leave #me #alone
Nuking Japan was a net positive from the lives it saved.
C’mon! Just let us introverts be! This may be a valid argument from a utilitarian perspective, but it is unreasonable to equate the suffering of innocent civilians versus troops who have atoned with god and their eventual demise. Introverts around the world agree that this type of consequentialist thinking leaves a lot of ethical gaps. Gaps that fascists won’t mind filling with their nuclear warheads!
A Pre-emptive strike is ethical against an adversary.
ACK! An introvert’s second worst nightmare is a pre-emptive strike being brought up when you’re in a crowded bar and can’t find your friends. Not only do I have to wade through this crowd of people, but now I have to hear people totally throw away Just War Theory because they feel that striking before aggression is acceptable. You might think about telling them that pre-emptive strikes lead to a slippery slope, letting leaders choose to wage wars that may or may not be justified. But then you can only hope to mutter a meek, “slippery slope.” Your mind is racing with the ethical ramifications of violating jus ad bellum! There is no such thing as an ethical pre-emptive strike. Every introvert out there knows that war cannot be waged morally. Even wars of moral necessity are, in their conduct, fundamentally immoral.
Are you seeing anyone?
Yes and his name is Netflix!
Written by Andrew Muller, Contributor