I need help. Like, right now. It has recently come to my attention that I do not know the difference between pee and tomatoes. I always thought they were the same thing, but apparently they’re not. I mean, they’re two completely separate, unrelated things and I didn’t know about it AT ALL. I’m freaking out right now! I can’t tell them apart! I need you to tell me: is this piss or a tomato????

Is this what’s in my toilet right now? Or is it the thing you blend up to make pasta sauce? Is this piss or a tomato?

  1. This belongs in my toilet bowl
  2. I should eat this with my mouth, perhaps atop some rigatoni

Is this what comes out of my urethra? Is this piss or a tomato?

  1. This sure could come out of my urethra
  2. This should probably come out of some other bodily hole

I’m pretty sure I know this one. I’ve got a couple of these growing in my garden right now, but I’ll ask anyway: is this piss or a tomato?

  1. I could maybe water my garden with this
  2. This is a classic summer crop

If I were in a feudal system and someone were to have committed a minor crime, would I throw this at them while they were in the stockades? Is this piss or a tomato?

  1. This thing would be difficult to throw given its state of matter
  2. I could throw this easily and with great success

So this one is definitely that VeggieTales guy right? I think I’m getting the hang of this, but just to be sure: is this piss or a tomato?

  1. This is actually Phillip the Piss
  2. This is in fact Bob the Tomato

Answers:

Wait, I’m supposed to tell you the answers here? I don’t HAVE the answers! You were supposed to tell me! That was the whole point! I’ve gained nothing from this. Oh well. I guess I’ll just go to the bathroom and harvest some crops for dinner. 

Written by Francesca Varga, Social Media Officer