YOUR DORM BUILDING, OH—Somehow disappointing everybody at once, the worst person you work with has decided he’s going to trick-or-treat around his dorm building dressed as the very reason trick-or-treating is a bad idea. “Wouldn’t it be hilarious to open your door and see the big ‘Rona itself?” He said as his roommates moved noticeably farther than 6ft away from him.
“I don’t know where he got the idea that he’s funny from,” said his RA, Robert. “Everybody pictured that exact thing back in March and decided that it would only be kinda entertaining if we managed to get out of quarantine by then.” At press time, an Amazon driver has arrived and is very disappointed that they have to deliver a green morph suit, a bunch of foam sticks, and a roll of duct tape.
Written by Zach Levy, Vice President