Since Amy Coney Barrett is now officially on the Supreme Court, it is only a matter of time before all women are forced to wear the signature red robe and bonnet. But how can you make sure you stand out in a good Christian-way in order to attract a proper husband? Don’t worry, we have you covered with these 10 fashion must haves.
1. Chunky necklace – Tell all the Christian girls you are one of them now by employing one of their favorite accessories. Nothing will tell the state you are totally cool with what’s going on like a turquoise chunky necklace.
2. A Zoloft prescription – Because let’s face it, you’re going to need it.
3. Kitten heels – Cute, classic and nearly impossible to run in. The state will love seeing you in these!
4. A Dave Matthews Band T-shirt – Every old white man loves Dave so this is sure to win you some favor.
5. A baseball hat – Show them you’re cool and relatable because you like ~men things~ and therefore are not a threat
6. Infinity scarf – Another favorite for Christian Girl Autumn! Stay warm and cozy with this accessory that says “No, I actually don’t want rights.”
7. A Floral Lei – Show them you are fun and quirky, but not too fun and quirky with this accessory perfect for the mandatory Jimmy Buffet concert we will all be forced to go to soon.
8. Vintage Glenn Beck Pin – Show you supported this movement from the beginning!
9. A Patriots Jersey – Because kissing your kids on the lips is next to godliness
10. Baby on Board bumper sticker – Tell them you think your body should only be used for making babies and preparing autumnal casseroles by putting a “Baby on Board” bumper sticker directly on your bonnet.
Written by Hannah McKaig, Contributor