YOU HAVE ONE MISSED CALL
VOICEMAIL TRANSCRIPT
Hey kiddo, it’s your dad. Well, it is October, you know what that means. Spooks and frights all month. I know you have big plans for this month with Halloweekend and taking that girl you won’t tell me about to the pumpkin patch or frat party or whatever you kids these days do, but have you been feeling a little spooked at all?
No, I’m not talking about ghouls, goblins, skeletons, or jack-o-lanterns. I am talking about student loan debt. We are just above the limit for student loan cancellation so your mom and I need you to apply for any scholarships you can get. We will help you out as best we can but I had to start taking double shifts last semester in order to afford your education. The FAFSA for the 2022-2023 academic year opened on October 1st you know, it might be nice if you can fill that out now so you can keep going to college.
I know this might sound scary, but maybe you could consider getting a job? I heard that the dining services are hiring right now through that email the college sends to us. Oh? Working in the dining halls would be the scariest job on campus? Well, good thing it is October then. You like getting scared, right sport? You begged me to take you to those Purge movies in 6th grade. If you could handle those, you can definitely work in those dining halls.
Also, your mom wants to know if you have put any consideration into picking up a second major that will actually get you a job? We know you love your movies but can’t you pick up a business degree or something? Can you get into med school off of a film degree? Please let us know. Welp, your mom is calling me so I gotta go help out my old ball and chain clean out the skeletons in the closet. Get it? I hope I didn’t spook ya! Your mom and I hope you are having a great time at college! But not too much fun! I’m just kidding around. I love you! Also, can you please call me back sometime? Bye.
END OF MESSAGE
Written by Julian Rodgers, Staff Writer