ATHENS, OHIO – This weekend was an eventful one for many, especially Alexandra Norton, who over the weekend realized that she had been attending Ohio State University, not Ohio University, for the past three years.
Norton, an English and Color Theory double major, claims that she did not know about this mishap. “On my first day on campus, I saw a flier for OUAB and I just assumed I was in the right place,” says Norton. When asked about how she ignored the obvious difference between the two campuses, Alexandra revealed that she suffers from deuteranopia, a type of color blindness where the one affected cannot distinguish between the colors green and red. “I remember the first time that I saw Brutus and thinking to myself, ‘that is one weird looking bobcat,’ but now that I know he is not a bobcat, he is still one weird looking nut.”
We contacted her parents, who live in Athens, for more information regarding the mixup. “It is all starting to make sense to me” says her mother, “she was a commuter student for her first year and the amount she was spending on gas to get somewhere 10 minutes away from our house was crazy!” Her father then recalled a story of confusion on the first parents’ weekend. “We kept looking for [Alexandra], but she kept on sending us addresses for Columbus. We just assumed she didn’t want to see us.”
It is unclear what Alexandra Norton’s plans for graduation are. Kristina M. Johnson has taken a firm stance against her stating “this is why you don’t mess with a big dog like me. I don’t mess with cats of any kind! I am ferocious, you never know when I am going to strike! And by strike I mean not allow you to walk at graduation!” Hugh Sherman, the president of Ohio University, has been trying to find a peaceful way for Ms. Norton to graduate from both universities but is scared to “provoke the beast and make the wild dog angry.” Either way, Alexandra Norton continues to further her education at The Ohio State University for the time being. “I still don’t know if I am a OU Oh-Yeah or an O-H-I-O type of girl yet. I am just hoping that President Sherman and the Big Dog can find a compromise in order to get me my diploma.”
Written by Julian Rodgers, Staff Writer