COLUMBUS, OH — Today’s shocking announcement that rapper and fashion designer Kanye West declared his affinity for the former leader of the Third Reich has promoted the Sundial’s investigative team to look on everyone’s instagram story to see if they had Ye, formerly known as Kanye West, as their top-streamed artist this year.
“We’ve had to work quite quickly,” said lead investigator John Hinkleman, who has worked with the Sundial well-past his graduation date.
“The story is only available for twenty-four hours, and there’s a lot of red flags to plant,”
Chad Brinkman, a freshman majoring in economics spoke to Sundial investigators when it was revealed that his top-streaming artist was Kanye West as well.
“I mean, I was willing to excuse the racism and casual misogyny, but this event today is where I draw the line. My New Year’s Resolution is to make him my second-most streamed or below.”
In the meantime, the Interfraternity Council is hosting an emergency session late this evening as the vibes of next semester’s parties must be changed.
Written by Henry Levenberg, Editor-in-Chief