The triple-demic, Southwest’s shorthand for the wintertime culmination of the flu, RSV (really stormy vacations), and software meltdowns, has reportedly infected Southwest Airlines, resulting in a cancellation of 80% of their flights on the busiest travel week of the year.

CEO of Southwest Airlines Bob Jordan remarked that “If your flight was one of those impacted, know that it is out of an abundance of caution. We regret impacting the holiday season, but as we all know after the past two years, we cannot rush the healing process.” He then rushed out of the press conference, presumably to search for his missing suitcase among the thousands sitting at baggage claim at Dallas Fort Worth International Airport.

Everyone is now turning to the impending start of school right around the corner. With many stranded all around the US, it’s unknown yet if this will impact classes when they start in the spring semester. Some OSU professors have remarked that “with students potentially unable to return for the start of the semester, it makes much more sense to return to remote learning,” and cited this crisis as a reason to continue recycling recorded lectures from two years ago. Another professor remarked that he was planning to fly back on United, but switched his flight to a canceled Southwest plane so that he could avoid office hours this January.

In the short term, many students are trapped with their families across the world desperately trying to get through to a customer service representative. Contact tracing – the new term for waiting to speak to a Southwest representative – has been exceedingly difficult.

However, reports have not been entirely negative. “The five hours I spent on hold before the call dropped were some of the most productive hours of my life. I managed to meal prep the whole month of January, completed the distilling and aging process for a nice whisky, and started and finished my dissertation, all while on hold!” says one Ohio State Computer Science PhD candidate.

Southwest’s attempts to offset blame for this issue have been overall unsuccessful and the stock price has already begun to plummet. No Fisher student can explain why.

Written by Sydney Ellis, Contributor and Brady Ellis, Alumni Guest Writer