COLUMBUS, OH — At 3:14 AM late last night, students at The Ohio State University received a notification that Queen Elizabeth II had died in Scotland.
“Buckeye Alert – Columbus Campus, Queen Elizabeth has passed,” the message read.
“International Students are encouraged to enjoy baked beans for breakfast beginning at 7:00 AM, followed by a traditional English Tea Time.”
Some students were surprised to receive the notification, two weeks after the monarch’s death.
“Usually you expect the Buckeye Alerts to be late, but to miss the death of Europe’s longest reigning monarch by two weeks is a little baffling.” says John Drelichman, first year anthropology major here at Ohio State.
Albeit late, British international students have begun constructing a memorial on the oval, using posters and materials stolen from the Office of Egyptian Culture.
Campus Safety Officer, Susan Friedleman heard student’s complaints on the tardiness of the message, and eased student concerns in case an actual emergency will have to be announced.
“We expect to upgrade to Windows Internet Explorer 4 by the end of this year, which should speed up the response time.”
Friedleman ended the press conference early, as she had to return to her shift working on Buckeyelink Financial Aid.
The Student Wellness Center has offered group counseling and consultation service for anyone grieving, available beginning in Autumn Semester of 2024.
Written by Sami Jolles, Contributor