Just hours after teasing a major announcement on his Truth Social account, Ohio State’s loveable mascot Brutus has announced a line of digital trading cards set to be released to the public. The post was accompanied by an embed video which featured the famous Buckeye speaking from his private resort in Palm Beach, Florida.
“Hello everyone, this is Brutus, hopefully your favorite mascot of all time, better than UGA and Sparty, with an important announcement to make. I’m launching my first official Brutus Buckeye NFT collection right here and right now. They’re called Brutus Digital Trading Cards and are $99, which doesn’t sound like very much, but the product is worth the price. And believe me when I tell you, Brutus Digital Trading Cards only use the smartest CSE majors to design these cards.” Brutus explained in the video.
The cards come with one of over 250 original designs which just so happen to use copyrighted artwork off of Google Images. Notable pieces depict Brutus as an astronaut, cowboy, Navy Seal, and even a high-profile cocaine dealer! Also included in a purchase is the chance to win one of over 25 different prizes ranging from a Zoom call with Brutus and five of your friends (no comment yet as to whether or not Brutus will actually speak on the call) to a private dinner at Woody’s, where you and one lucky friend can split the 3rd best pizza on campus with Brutus himself.
“I already bought five!” says third year student Clayton McGee, who just so happened to be wearing a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat.
“Was it worth nearly $500? Probably not, but if Brutus tells me to buy digital trading cards that I probably could’ve just screenshotted with my iPhone, you better know I’m going to buy ‘em!”
According to a followup post on Truth Social, Brutus commented that the cards had sold out in just under 24 hours but to not fear as additional cards will go on sale in the coming weeks.
“It’s time to show the woke liberals what it means to be a Buckeye and a true American patriot. Don’t be a Wallowing Wolverine or a Horrible Hoosier, purchase your Brutus Digital Trading Card today for the low low price of $99 and ¼ of your brain cells, only at
www.cardswithnutonthem.com.”
Written by Grant Lieberman, Contributor