DENVER—Egad! Inside sources confirm that 34-year-old podiatrist and historically chill girl Jenna Bonnette actually listens to her friends’ podcast “Disney Minus with Eric & Danny”, where the two friends review comically bad movies on the streaming service Disney+. What an absolute creep move!
“Although I promoted my podcast on Twitter, I never expected Jenna to actually listen to it,” claimed Disney Minus host Eric Spielvogel, whose last episode received an record-breaking 29 plays on Soundcloud. “The fact that she listens to two of her best friends have an intimate conversation without our knowledge or consent feels like a violation of our trust.”
“I feel like she’s having parasocial delusions about me,” claimed co-host Danny Beauchanan, who heard that term in a YouTube video once and was quick to apply it to his childhood best friend. “It feels like she’s bitter that she’s not a part of the pod, and she’s trying to pretend she’s a part of it by listening to it? I know she’s probably dying to get in on our review of The Cat From Outer Space (1978), but projecting herself into this dynamic that I and Eric have is really toxic and manipulative. Not to mention, disgusting and violent.”
The Sundial was able to reach this crazy stalker bitch for comment.
“Sometimes it feels weird to listen to my friends’ podcasts, but I don’t think there’s really anything wrong with it. Eric, Danny, and I haven’t gotten to hang out much since the pandemic, and it’s nice to hear their voices when I’m doing dishes or taking a walk. I also know that if I don’t listen to Disney Minus, I’m not sure anyone else will. Most Disney fans aren’t dying to listen to two guys, whose conversation only seems interesting to the people who know them personally, interrupt and tell each other inside jokes for 45 minutes.”
At press time, Spielvogel and Beauchanan are crouching outside of Jenna’s apartment, gazing through her window, and anticipating when this madwoman will strike the play button of their scathing review of Stepsisters From Planet Weird (2000).
Written by Emmy Pratt, Senior Staff Member