– Bet a dead horse – to engage in a non-lucrative activity, like exclusively writing popular
series list pieces for a small-time comedy magazine
– Bet a dad horse – to give up something valuable, like a paternal horse that could help you
raise more horses, or like spending your time writing a list instead of doing grad school
applications
– Bet a dad hose – to do something seemingly small that ultimately disappoints your father.
Examples include: drugs, tattoos, and never becoming financially independent.
– Be a dad hose – to work for your father, like a gardening implement, because you
followed your dreams of becoming a writer and you failed.
– Be a ad hose – to go into advertising because it’s a little related to your major, but
ultimately it’s for something you don’t love, like a gardening implement.
– Be a d hose – to go into that career because you’ve given up and then not even be any
good at it, like you got a ‘D’ at it.
– Be a hose – to not have a job, to not assist your parent, just to be an object because you
have nothing else to live for.
– Be a hoe – to be kicked out of your parents’ house because you’re acting like an
inanimate object, so you have to start selling yourself.
– B a hoe – that same thing but a little less articulate.
– B a ho – little bit less articulate still.
– B ho – even less articulate, because you have developed a severe heroin addiction and
you can’t really be bothered to speak.
– B o – to stink bodily, as in when you haven’t showered in weeks because you are living
in an abandoned house with a bunch of fellow addicts and you don’t have clean water or
a change of clothes or hope.
– B – to exist, a minimalist philosophy you developed while high, but it got you back to
your roots of expressing your feelings through written word, and maybe, just maybe,
you’ll be okay and you’ll finally write something funny that doesn’t have to remove a
letter.
-Bri Forney, Senior Staff-Writer