Reggie, the Flightless Reindeer,
Could never change his fate,
But if you ever saw him
You’d say he was blooming late.
All of the other reindeer
Would encourage him and say,
Reggie, our favorite reindeer,
You will learn to fly one day.
Then one special Christmas Eve
Santa came to say,
“Reggie, now’s the time to fly!
Leave this cliff, take to the sky!”
So Reggie, the Flightless Reindeer,
Took a great, big flying leap
And Reggie, the Flightless Reindeer,
Landed in a bloody heap!
Because he couldn’t fucking fly, Santa.
It’s in the title.
-Poem by Jackie Shreves, Staff-Member
-Illustration by Jacob Conrad, Staff-Member