BRAZIL–Following the blowout victories that raised his Olympic gold medal count to 21, American swimmer Michael Phelps pledged to swim his final event in Rio with his infant son, Boomer, strapped to his chest in a baby carrier. “It’s the support from my family that carried me through these past few rough years, and I want to thank them by carrying the smallest of them through the 100m Butterfly,” said Phelps while outfitting his son with a tiny swim cap, despite Boomer’s lack of hair. “This little guy will be a bit of an aerodynamic disruption, but the strength I’m gaining from all those cupping circle bruises will make up for it. I know he’s ready because I’ve been training him to swim laps in the bathtub since the day he was born, and his breath control is really advanced for his age.” In response to concerns about the child’s safety, Phelps said, “No one who inherits my genes is capable of drowning under any circumstances.” At press time, it was recorded that the baby prefers the freestyle but will ride along for the butterfly without complaint.
–Ivy Decker, Sundial Alumna. Image by RG Barton, Contributor