Aries: NASA’s new discovery has ruined everything
Taurus: Time itself has stalled
Gemini: You are no longer who you thought you were
Cancer: Post a hurt status on your favorite astrology Facebook page
Leo: Reject the fact that you could ever be ruled by Venus
Virgo: Reject the idea of NASA
Libra: Halloweentown High
Scorpio: Prove the moon landing is a hoax
Sagittarius: Insist the Earth is actually flat
Capricorn: Reject the notion of science
Aquarius: Join an elitist cult
Pieces: Start shitposting new Taurus memes
-Hannah Wagner, Staff Member