I understand art more than you and you should feel bad. Yeah, you heard me. I understand exactly what the artist wanted me to understand with their piece of Fine Art. You see this shit?
Yeah, this shit is The Scream by Edvard Munch. I bet you think it’s just a painting of a bald dude screaming because I dunno he’s scared of something. But actually I know that it’s a glimpse of Munch’s inner troubles and feelings of anxiety. You see how the world is all squiggly around the subject? It’s a goddamn metaphor for the disorienting process we call life, you incompetent yolk. Have you ever observed this shit?
It’s Salvador Dali’s The Persistence of Memory that was published in 1931. I just want to let you know that your opinion that it’s just a stupid goofy Surrealist painting that shows four melting clocks is ABSOLUTELY STUPID. If you knew anything about art you’d know that the Surrealist painters focus on depicting the DREAM STATE, you thick barbarian. Dali wants to illustrate the timeless effect that the dream state has on humans. If you haven’t noticed, time seems to move faster–it literally melts always cough–while we’re dreaming. You’ve probably never thought of that though because you’re SCUM. How about this shit?
That’s goddamn Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh. You probably think that this is just a painting of a beautiful landscape. WELL YOU’RE WRONG. This shit symbolizes Van Gogh’s GODDAMN emotions. He’s represented by the looming cypress tree in the foreground, isolated from the beauty of the cityscape not too far away. HE WAS UNABLE TO FORM GENUINE HUMAN CONNECTIONS, YOU IMBECILE. I would tell you to try harder next time but we both know you’re unable to do that. You should Vincent van Gogh FUCK YOURSELF.