Punxsutawney Phil is a liar! That lil’ rat saw his shadow and hid like a coward, dooming us to six more weeks of winter. Well where’s that winter now, Phony Phil? Huh? Where’s your wind and snow and hibernation now? It’s 65 degrees and sunny outside. I’m wearing a T-shirt and shorts in February and don’t you try to blame it on global warming, you Punxsutawney Punk.
For years, I’ve relied on you for all of my super vague weather related needs. When you say spring, I pack goulashes. When you say winter, I break out my parka and gloves. For years, people have teased me for wearing shorts in the freezing winter temperatures, but I have defended your honor. For years people have teased me for putting all of my hopes and dreams into a groundhog with a 39% track record, which they remind me is less than random chance. They have even gone so far as to point out in very harsh tones that it’s not even technically the same groundhog now as it was in the beginning, because there’s no way that a groundhog with an average life span of 14 could be alive 103 years later. Yet I held firm. Well, no more. Punxsutawney Phil is a Punxsutawney Phake and I’m done listening to your lies.
On another note, can anyone recommend a good weather app?