In a Sundial Exclusive scoop, intrepid reporter Allan has uncovered a scandal that could sink the [Last Name Redacted] campaign before it starts. Throughout her campaign both this year and the year prior, [Last Name Redacted] has been very pro-cat, having offered a pledge of free kittens for everyone in her previous run for USG president, a promise that once again features prominently. Her vice presidential candidate this year, the mysterious Elijah [last name redacted due to a preference not to be publicly associated with the campaign], has remained curiously silent on the issue, that is, until daring and bold reporter Allan was able to privately record a conversation that could shake the campaign.
At approximately 9:00, Wednesday, February 22nd, Elijah was asked if he was a cat person or a dog person, to which he responded “Oh geez… I guess a dog person?”. While the [Last Name Redacted] campaign has not publicly responded, several of her constituents have expressed their dissatisfaction with the leak spearheaded by that stupid, sexy reporter Allan.
“How the hell can we trust her if this slipped through the cracks?” said second year Archie Barton in an interview with everybody’s favorite reporter, Allan “I mean I’m not really sure what USG president does but this definitely can’t be a good sign. What am I supposed to do now, research all the candidates and make a thoughtful and well-informed vote?”
While speculation runs rampant as to what effect this will have on Stav’s campaign staff, one thing is certain: We should all appreciate Allan for having brought this very important story to our attention.
–Allan, Senior Staff Member