It’s every girl’s dream to have someone tell her that she is exactly like the American Girl Doll she possesses. Whether you had Felicity or Josefina, Kit or Kirsten, you craved the validation of seeming similar to the doll that… Continue Reading →
One of my favorite things about waking up in the morning is knowing I will be delivering Spectrum bills and coupon magazines as a joyful member of the United States Postal Service. I enjoy dropping off mail, delivering mail, and… Continue Reading →
“After exposing ourselves to the irrational cesspool that is modern day politics, we decided that something had to be done — instead of running away from it, this sort of Twitter politics had to be counteracted with a more rational… Continue Reading →
Went into the boys’ bathroom once in third grade on accident Heelys are things that I have never owned Yearbook pictures: regrettable I was actually cool and everyone was just jealous Grew bangs, cut them myself Only kid… Continue Reading →
A recent investigation conducted by The Sundial has confirmed suspicions that local bully Sam Coller, the kid who called your kid a “2% milk-drinking coward,” is not acting out because of any concealed suffering in other parts of his life… Continue Reading →
I love getting bullied. It’s one of my favorite pastimes. Name calling? Constant criticism? Getting pushed down stairs? It doesn’t bother me even a little bit. In fact, I seek out opportunities to get bullied. It brings me pleasure when… Continue Reading →
Thousands of Americans are facing the grim prospect of unemployment as the Tik-Tokking, avocado-toasting, and rent-starved Millennials take down yet another great pillar of American industry: bullying. “The act of bullying someone requires your victim to have some semblance of… Continue Reading →
The dunce cap — the universal symbol of stupidity, the widely recognized signifier of shameful unintelligence, the preferred head apparel of idiots everywhere. The image of a brainless nobody in a tall, pointy hat has long been mocked and criticized… Continue Reading →
Why were you so mean to me back then? I was new at school, and I needed friends. I came up to you all nervous, just wanting to chat, and you made fun of my stutter and took my lunch… Continue Reading →
I knew I made a mistake when I mentioned that my office plants at work weren’t looking too healthy. It was at the company water cooler while I was making small talk when Greg, my coworker, overheard me say that… Continue Reading →
Seeking to satiate an impatient public hungry for final caucus results, the Iowa Democratic Party made a ritual offering to the ancient and unknowable evil lurking below their fields and pastures. Panicked Democratic state officials clad in black cloaks were… Continue Reading →
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